by Carolus Taylor
By now most of us are familiar with the plight of Ted Haggard, then Pastor of New Life Church in Colorado Springs and head of the National Association of Evangelicals, who was exposed last month in a sex/drug scandal. An article in The Los Angeles Times entitled, “Haggard bares his soul in note to congregation” reported certain details of Haggard’s confession, and reaction to it by members of the New Life Church.
Here are some excerpts from the article:
…Haggard had been struggling for three years to balance his duties as pastor with his high-profile role as head of the evangelical association — a job that raised his political profile and got him invited to the Oval Office and in on conference calls with the White House…
…Haggard had tried to carve out time to reflect and to write his books by secluding himself now and then in a Denver hotel. That is apparently when he first contacted the prostitute, Mike Jones, who advertised as a masseur in gay magazines…
…Haggard alluded to this period in his letter, saying that his pride had prevented him from seeking counseling; he hadn't wanted to disappoint those who loved him. "When I stopped communicating about my problems," he wrote, "the darkness increased and finally dominated me."
I want to be clear I am not going to address how awful and scandalous the behavior. Instead, I want to address and have us think about from a ministerial perspective some of the comments identified in his letter to the church.
There are three factors that are of concern, and they are all interrelated: (1) his personal struggle with issues, (2) his time alone, and (3) his pride. As ministers, all of us have our areas of struggle. There are temptations before us that seek to destroy the call of God on our lives. We do not have an automatic exempt from temptation just because we have been called to the ministry. What better way to cast doubts on the gospel than to have the God-called preacher/pastor fall, and be exposed publicly. The issue is not that we have temptations, but how we are battling our temptations. Are we fighting alone, or are we asking other believers to assist us in the battle?
Haggard’s time alone and his pride, gave the enemy the opportunity and opening to turn up the heat. Apparently, Haggard struggled alone with his issues. Time alone made Haggard void of the company of his family, void of the company of other believers, void of prayer partners, void of individuals who would disciple him. We cannot defeat the enemy of our own accord, but need help from God who provides others in our lives. We need to surround ourselves with people who will hold us accountable.
I have thought much about the issue of pride. His pride prevented him from asking for help because he did not want to disappoint those he loved. The enemy clouds our judgment and prevents us from getting the help (the counsel, the accountability) we need because we are thinking of how others will think about us. It is our personal perception of what others will think about us. Thus we reject much needed help, and we do battle alone; a battle we are sure to lose.
There is also the fear of the reaction (and perhaps rejection) we will get if we open ourselves up to others. I am not suggesting we tell our struggles to everyone. We need to be careful and selective. But we do have a sense that if we reveal our deepest struggles and temptations, then people are going to say, “You should not be feeling like that.”
Does mature faith mean that we should come to the place where a minister should be able to reveal a struggle no matter how vile and vulgar?
As ministers, can we truly handle a pastor/minister who comes to us with the information they are struggling with about homosexuality, struggling with adultery, pornography, embezzlement, spousal abuse or some other immoral act?
Can someone reveal their deepest struggle with us, having confidence it will stay with us, and that we will hold each other accountable for doing the right thing?
Our members come to us with their most intimate struggles, but who do we go to with our struggles?
I pray that shame and pride will never prevent us from sharing our struggle with someone, and that we may find others who hold us accountable and help us through our most difficult times.
Just some thoughts, I would appreciate any reaction.
Carolus Taylor is Senior Pastor of the Friendship Baptist Church in Columbia, Missouri.
5 comments:
Wow! This is a powerful article.
I am sad for this individual's fall from grace, but on the other hand I am thankful for the lessons learned.
I suffer with a most difficult temptation. But because I am a minister I am afraid to confide in anyone my struggle because I am afraid they will not accept me.
So I fall into isolation, then loneliness. It's at this point I think I can handle this problem only to find out I become more weaker and give in to the temptation.
My pride won't allow to seek for help. I try to commit more to the Lord, only to have the temptation return sometime later.
Thank you for this article it has given me the strength to seek help and realize I can't do this by myself. I need to be held accountable.
I think that Reverend Taylor gives an interesting commentary on the problem that many ministers face, as well as parishoners.
There are a lot of people who are struggling, and have no place to go. Do we leave them out in the cold, or do we really minister to their needs?
We are all vulnerable and open to temptation at any given moment. We are expected to follow certain biblical protocols such as constant prayer etc. when situations arise. If we look closer we might inquire of ourselves the question of what were we doing or thinking at the present time when these events glare there ugly faces at us.
I find it very interesting that we as Christians try to be so well behaving in public without even considering who we actually are in private. I know that we all have temptations, one kind or another, but I firmly believe that if we challenge ourselves to act upon the words “Who we are when no one’s looking” we would find the strength to overcome or at the least be equipped enough to face any temptation, for we would have known our weaknesses and thus, move to protect our vulnerability
Our ability to overcome temptation comes from our knowledge of the Word of God, our obedience to the Holy Spirit as he gives direction in our lives and our connection to to others. We are never meant to struggle alone, in isolation, separated from those who have overcome the area of our struggle, those who are overcoming a different struggle. We must be willing to invest in others who can helps. The admonishment is to "bear one another's burden."
I think our shortfall comes because we don't have people we can be real with, share our pain, share our struggles and our hurts. This leaves us vulnerable to an onslaught from the enemy. I think it is a fair assessment we will never win against the enemy by ourselves. The strength of the individual lies in the strength of the community.
I agree with Pastor Taylor. We see in Peter this very thing. Jesus knew about his weakness and told him that He had prayed for him. Obviously, he knew and wanted Peter to know that he knew. Even the look that was given after the third denial certainly was one of "bearing" Peter's burden. After the resurrection, Jesus confronts Peter again (John 21)to reaffirm his love and commitment - He journied with Peter to maturity. Grant it, Peter wasn't a drunk, addict, or struggled with homosexuality - he only denied the One he walked and talked with for 21/2 years.
Yes, I certainly agree that our greatest need is to be solid in our secret lives, but there is something about having someone to go through with. It is interesting that on the eve of His betrayal, Jesus takes the inner circle of his friends with him as He goes to pray. At His most challenged time, he seeks support from friends. Even if its just to have them in company. We need one another!
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